Custody Disputes Produce Few Winners

Undergoing a custody battle should be an act of last
resort.  The end result usually produces two losers and no
winners.  It should only be attempted if children are being
subject to physical or psychological danger.  If your child
is being exposed to physical or sexual harm, take immediate
action at any price.  Additionally, if the children are
being exposed to individuals and behaviors that make proper
parenting for the children impossible, then a contested
custody case is certainly warranted.  Such behaviors would
include drug use, multiple sexual partners in the presence
of the children and psychotic actions caused by mental
instability.

Absent one of the above mentioned factors, a custody battle
will likely lead to a big loss on both sides.  There is a
huge financial cost to go along with an often irrecoverable
emotional loss.  And the party who ultimately winds up with
custody may have done so at an extreme price for the minor
children.  Although the parties may attempt to shield the
children as much as possible, they are no doubt going along
for the ride.  And that ride may take years depending upon
the city and court location of the battle.

Because custody battles produce few winners, the courts
will do whatever they can to encourage an agreed upon
settlement.  In Illinois, when there is any dispute
involving the custody of minor children, the parties are
forced to engage in court ordered mediation.  This
mediation is the first step in an attempt to have the
parties reach an agreement.  This method has been very
successful because is forces the parties to think about the
children and not just about themselves.  Such mediation
could reduce a divorce case to months instead of years.
The well being of the entire family can be enhanced through
the use of mediation.  However, if mediation is not
effective and the children are at severe risk of harm,
forge ahead with a custody battle.  Just remember, there
are few winners if ever.

Importantly, before jumping in the waters of a divorce or
custody case, consult with an experienced divorce or family
lawyer to learn more about your rights and about the likely
outcome.  There is so much misinformation that surrounds
divorce and custody.  People discuss other peoples' results
without knowing any of the facts of the case.  It goes way
beyond hearsay.  Without the advice of an experienced
attorney, there is no way to have peace of mind throughout
the process.


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